CFB Week 3 Picks

The Quest For NWO

There are two types of people in this world. ‘Blue Pill’ people and ‘Red Pill’ people. For those of you that haven’t seen the Matrix, ‘Blue Pill’ people enjoy their ignorance because, lets face it, ignorance is often bliss. ‘Blue Pill’ people are often completely unaware that they are in fact ‘Blue Pill’ people. These are the types that can be narrow-minded, unconcerned with exploration of ideas, and only enjoy like-minded people. God forbid they surround themselves with any diversity of thought. Now if you’re reading this and you are in fact one of those people, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that. To each his own and who I am to tell you how to think? But as for me, give me the red. I want to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

It’s no secret that the Money Train has not gotten off to a good start. I’ve been taking a good hard look at myself in the mirror and I can’t help but ask what can I do differently to get this thing back on track? So just like anyone else looking for answers in 2018, I turned to YouTube. What resulted was one long strange trip featuring Santeria, how to open your ‘Third Eye’, and my September lucky horoscope numbers (2, 4, 8, 10, 13 and 21 if you’re curious #Pisces). I wasn’t hit with any new revelations. It was all some hocus pocus bullshit, not that I didn’t already think that. Where is the real NWO?? If you have access to the Illuminati feel free to hop in my DMs, I can guarantee discretion. Until my third eye is opened, we’ll have to settle for the next best thing. Betting on teams I already know are NWO…..

The rich are getting richer

Up to this point I have had ZERO feel for this college football season. Things just haven’t made sense. I put the work in this offseason; I studied teams and I searched high and low for sleepers. Now, two weeks in, it finally dawned on me. Usually there’s adjustments from year to year, but this year is different. Just like our economy, the rich are only getting richer and the poor are just getting poorer. Could it be possible that Bama, Clemson, Oklahoma, Ohio State, and Georgia are all BETTER this year? I mean the middle class is basically dead and I am dead inside as well. You mother f***kers ready to win some money? Forget upsets, I’m going full Anakin Skywalker dark side in the name of cash stacks.

Its time to start laying chalk. N-W-O style.

Florida State @ Syracuse +3.5

Willie Taggert is 2 games into his tenure at FSU and I’m already out on him. When will these coaches learn that finesse football is not the way? Watching FSU’s redzone offense against Virginia Tech made my Butch Jones PTSD flare up so bad that I almost went full Bradley Cooper in American Sniper and beat the hell out of my neighbors cat with my belt. Aside from Taggert’s subpar coaching, the Noles just aren’t any good. They are 0-8 in their last 8 conference games… Take the name off the jersey for a second and contemplate laying points in the Carrier Dome with a team that hasn’t won a conference game in a year.

Oklahoma -17.5 @ Iowa State

Oklahoma lost one of the all time great college quarterbacks and somehow might have gotten even better at the position. Can someone find the Kyler Murray Heisman odds for me? I have a hard time believing anyone is gonna put up more numbers than him by the end of the season. Poor Iowa State. They put up 3 points last week…. 3 POINTS. Matt Campbell may be a good coach but his team lost a lot of experience off of last year’s squad. Can you imagine Iowa State even remotely keeping up with this Oklahoma team Saturday? Oh this is also a revenge game by the way… RIP Cyclones.

Vanderbilt +14 @ Notre Dame

Yeah I’m betting on Vandy Candy to cover on the road in South Bend… I don’t even know who I am anymore. But hey, when the chips are down you throw biases out the window. I’m not gonna lie, Derek Mason may be a defensive mind but they’re coaching something right on the offensive side of the ball here in Nashville. It helps that they have Kyle Shurmur playing in his 7th year at Vanderbilt. They have put up points in their first 2 games this season. Typically I’d gauge this game by how strong I think Notre Dame is. But strangely, I find myself leaning more on the competency of the Commodores. Notre Dame is always tough at home, but Vandy Candy finds a way to cover the spread by doing just enough on offense.

Boise State @ Oklahoma State -2.5

Every time I’m presented with a -2.5 point line I’m tempted to bet it on principle alone. Especially with a home team, just off that key number of 3. You’re just getting great value. This line opened with OK State as a 3.5 point favorite and I love fading the line movement and everyone’s favorite Group of 5 team in Boise State. The Broncos are as good as they’ve been in a long time and they’re solid on both sides of the ball. But at the end of the day, I just can’t pass up Gundy at home with what should be a slight talent edge. Let’s be sharps, not squares people.

Duke +6.5 @ Baylor

This line opened at Baylor -1 and I was fully prepared to back them as the home team as well as the more talented group. However, this line shot up faster than Urban Meyer’s blood pressure at the end of his tenure at Florida. This was due to Duke’s starting qb impersonating Aaron Rodgers by breaking his collarbone. If any team is going to have their backup qb respond, it might as well be David Cut. The fact that Baylor hasn’t beaten anyone of relevance in the past two years also makes me weary to lay the 6.5 points with them. Does any coach in the nation do more with less than Cutcliffe does? The man is a coaching savant and is quietly building an above average ACC program.

LSU +9.5 @ Auburn

This line feels fishy. Why is it so big? I feel like it should be around 7 or 7.5. LSU thrashed a talented Miami team.. Orgeron is coaching for his life and so far its working. This series is an intriguing one and has produced drama despite which team comes in as the ‘better’ side. I will say Auburn looks nasty as ever on defense. Their front seven is absolutely massive. However, Joe Burrow makes LSU two-dimensional for once and I fully expect this game to be close. Auburn has yet to show they can put up a lot of points against high caliber defenses with exception to last year’s regular season Georgia game. This will be southern college football at one of its finest and whoever wins gets to be 2nd place in the best division in the country.

Colorado State +20.5 @ Florida

Listen. I know CSU isn’t any good. But does this Florida team deserve to be laying 20+ points against any competent Power 5 opponent right now? They. Are. Awful. They play with zero swag and Dan Mullen made the biggest mistake of his career taking over that program. How can you recover after blowing a 30+ year streak to Kentucky in your first league game? For whatever reason, he just does not seem like a good fit in Gainesville. Florida has always been cocky and this guy is just goofy. Nothing about him exudes swagger. Felipe ‘Pool Boy’ Franks has made one decent play in his career and there doesn’t seem to be a single star on that team. I think Florida is in trouble this season and I can see the disfunction being on full display this Saturday.

Alabama -21 @ Ole Miss

Of all Nick Saban’s teams at Alabama, I can’t remember one with more offensive firepower than the one he has right now. The Tide have completely owned college football while playing complete tomato cans at quarterback. And now they have one of the best quarterbacks in the entire country… What the hell man. Have you seen Ole Miss play this season? To say their defense is sub par is putting it nicely. Bama might score on every single possession. Might as well parlay Bama with the over in this game, Ole Miss will find a way to score some points but Bama might legit hang 70 on ole Johnny Reb.

MTSU @ Georgia -32.5

Last week I made the egregious mistake of taking Arkansas State +36.5 against Bama. The margin of victory was 50.. You know what Georgia has become? Mini Bama. Monkey see – monkey do, Kirby isn’t calling his Dawgs off in this one. Georgia’s first, second, third, and fourth string could all cover this spread on their own. Its time to stop fighting the inevitable. I would lay the points if the line was 40.

Marshall +13.5 @ South Carolina

If I would of known South Carolina was gonna trot out there against Georgia with those stupid Carolina decals on their helmets, I never would have taken them. Why do programs fix things that aren’t broken? The Gamecock on the helmet is classic and they tried to replace it with the Chick-fil-a logo. I don’t want to overreact too much from what happened last week, the gap between Georgia and every other SEC East team is even bigger than I realized. But Marshall is no slouch, they are one of those Group of 5 teams that can really play. I’m expecting a bit of a hangover for Carolina after last week. Their entire offseason focus was on that Georgia game and its tough to bounce back after getting completely bludgeoned the way they did. South Carolina sleepwalks through the first half and the game ends up being close.

ULM +27 @ Texas A&M

Speaking of hangover games, here’s another one for you. In addition to the Aggies coming of a heartbreaker to Clemson, this is also a sandwich spot for them with Bama on the schedule next week. Hard to believe that A&M isn’t already looking forward to that game and I imagine they have to be a little banged up. Jimbo Fischer knows what he’s doing and he wants all hands on deck for his matchup with Saban. I imagine some backups get reps and not to mention this will be ULM’s Super Bowl.

Missouri -7.5 @ Purdue

Purdue managed to drop their game against Eastern Michigan last week to drop them to 0-2. Things could get really ugly fast for them if they go to 0-3. Unfortunately for Brohm’s boys, they play a hot Missouri team that are 8-1 in their last 9 games. With a seasoned Drew Lock at quarterback, they put 51 and 40 on the scoreboard in their first two tune up games to get ready for this one. I don’t see why the trend doesn’t continue, Drew Lock is going to pick this slow ass defense apart.

Ohio State -12.5 vs TCU (Dallas)

Originally I planned on taking the points with TCU but that was before I died on the inside. Urban Meyer or no Urban Meyer, Ohio State is still Yankee Bama. The Buckeyes are due for a stinker every year, but that usually comes against an inferior opponent and I guarantee TCU has their full attention. Dewayne Haskins looks like he can ball at quarterback and they have weapons all over the field both offensively and defensively. Gary Patterson has built himself a hell of a program but whenever they play up to Oklahoma they get smacked. I see this as being a similar situation. If I take Ohio State and they don’t cover then so be it but I’m not fading them.

USC @ Texas -3

Before the season I was excited to see this game and now it just seems like all the air has been taken out of this one. To me, Texas has showed to be slightly more competent and I don’t see USC fixing their offensive situation before Saturday. Texas took USC to OT last year and they get this one at home. At this point, Tom Herman may have more to lose than Helton considering Helton has actually done something with his program. If Herman doesn’t want to start hearing some serious grumblings from the fanbase, he better pull this one out.

Washington -6.5 @ Utah

A lot of experts preseason circled this one as an upset special for Utah. And now that the game is upon us, I just don’t see it. Going to Utah to face the wacky Mormons is a tough place to play but its certainly not any tougher than playing Auburn in Atlanta. Washington’s loss to Auburn showed me that they’re the same old Washington that we’ve seen the past two seasons. And you know what that means? They’ll run rough shot over the Pac-12 and when they face a top tier SEC or Big 10 team in a New Year’s Six Bowl, they’ll take another L.

Arizona State @ San Diego State +5

I’m throwing this game in because I’m doubling down on my opinion that Herm Edwards will not be successful in Tempe. I know they beat Michigan State last week but they were at home and that game was ugly af. Michigan State is strange how they’ll put together a great team one year and then turn around and follow it up with a crap season. SDSU has some talent and they tend to play those Pac12 teams tough. They gave Stanford a handful in the first half of the opener and now they get a shot at ASU on their home turf.

Tasty Teases

Ohio State -6.5, Washington -0.5, Oklahoma -11.5

LSU +15.5, Colorado St +26.5, Syracuse +9.5